Cried myself to sleep again last night. Really could not accept what I saw earlier on. Dropped him another mail before I went to bed.
He called me before that. I was not too appy already then. Talked to him in a heck-care tone. On the verge on quarrelling already. He called me again after he checked his mail. Talked to me in a very nice manner. Thank God. If he ever shouted at me, that would be it. Like what Elaine said, if he shouted at me, is it worth for me to carry on this relationship??? Fancy him shouting at me over another GIRL. What he said really make me think that I am rather brainless.
I have access to his emails. If he ever wanted to hide something from me, he would delete the mail after reading and replying. Right?
Messaged me slightly before 8pm today. Said he will come and meet me. We just walked silently till Raffles Place. With occassional small talk and small fight. Said he knew I never trust him. HE HIT THE BULL'S EYE!!! Feel so bad now. I am just like that. Forever having so little trust in people. All because I LACK CONFIDENCE IN MYSELF.
Came to Clifford Pier. Stood there. Asked me if I had anything to ask him. I just could not speak then. After a while, we were fine again. We then continued our walk to Amara, with our usual talk, laugh and his usual bullying. Planned to meet again tomorrow morning. Just before he go for his interview.
However, he just called. Asked me not to meet him tomorrow. He will have a rest in Amara 1st before going for the interview. Fine. Shall have my beauty sleep then. Maybe will ask him out for shopping next weekend. He have yet to buy his Deepvali clothings!!!
{&i'll hold on till the end of time-}
4:32 PM
As usual, went to work, thinking that today will not be a busy day. Yes, this is so in the morning. But at 11am or so, things being to just keep coming in. Phone calls was not as much as yesterday though. Cannot really remember what held me back. But when I had the time to go and check my emails, I had like 30 emails to clear??? First time in history. Broke my own record already...
After that, the emails and faxes just keep coming in. But the time I was freed of all the work, it was already 7pm!!! Luckily May was unable to go and shop for her dress today as well. Otherwise, she would have to wait for so long. Or maybe I will be the one to cancel the trip. =)
Called Dear to see if he wants to come and meet me then. He was too tired then. Asked me to go and meet him on Thursday morning. It is his off day that day. Can afford to go home later to rest. Another resaon of him asking me out that day is because he is going for an interview that morning. At 11am. A 3rd interview at Raffles Hotel. Seems like he confirm will get the job already. To go or not to go for it. We were just discussing about it just now. A big dilemma. It also seem confirmed that he will be the Acting Night Manager in Amara as of next month. The only obstacle is pay wise. Should he stay or just go for something which is already there for him. Somehow do not seem to trust Amara anymore. But the position they MAY offer him is something he wanted. To become a Food and Beverage supervisor, it is definitely a position lower than the Night Manager. And also, the department wise, of course to be in the Front Office Department is better. So Dear, my advise is, if you confirm Amara will give you the position, just stay and complete your probation. After that, you can proudly walk out of Amara, get a new job with better pay at the same position elsewhere. Agree?
Thought I do not want to check his email anymore. But just cannot stop myself. Went in, saw mails from that person again. Unintentionally, or intentionally, I went to read them. Both opened and unopened. It really depresses me alot. To the extend that I was stuffing myself with food just now. There goes all my effort to lose weight. Think from tomorrow onwards, I shall just eat as little as possible. I heard exercising and eating pills will both have side effect after you stop doing it.
Anyway, that aside, the mails that I read really set me thinking. What is he trying to do??? What is he treating me as??? I really want to know. Kill 2 birds with one stone??? I know I will be at the losing end. One, I am a Chinese. Secondly, I am a Singaporean. I know he will not stay in Singapore for life. I do not mind that. I really do not mind my dear. Who exactly is she??? Really very disturbed by what I read. Why??? Why can he confide in her and not me. I asked him about his trip. He did not want to say. But when SHE asked, I think he told her the whole story. (From what I read from her reply)
If he has been cheating on me, should I really let go? Or rather, will I be able to let go? Should I give him a chance to amend himself? I am lost... Really lost...
Dropped him a mail. Do not know if he will get my hint after reading it. All I can do now is to wait for his call later. I am sure he will check his mail later on.
{&i'll hold on till the end of time-}
1:19 PM
Even before I start work, Rebecca said she will only come in at 12pm. That left with me and Darlene for the whole morning?!?!?! Was so damn busy. No time to even breathe, clear my emails and faxes. Calls keep coming in, one after another. Sometimes even 2 at one time. Imagine the war we fought this morning. We did not give in though. We Won!!! =)
This is not the 1st time though. Had 22 emails or so to clear before lunch, had a large stack of faxes to clear as well. Went for lunch with Darlene after clearing all those and last minute reservations.
Found today's lunch nice. =) By the time I have cleared my work, it was already 6.30pm. Tired... Still had Siti's work which I had not checked. Asked Rebecca if I could check it tomorrow, since all the reservations she made is for next year. She was fine with it.
Headed straight home then. Before that, went to have Mr Bean's soyabean with pearl and a pancake. Or whatever you call it.
Dear called me at 8pm sharp. He thought that I was working till 8pm. Wanted to meet me. ***Surprise*** Why the sudden miss me so much??? I miss you too darling. Maybe we will be meeting on Wednesday.
May just messaged me. Ask me to accompany her for her shopping spree tomorrow. Of course I am more than glad to accompany her. After that maybe can meet Dear. =) Shall ask him about it later...
{&i'll hold on till the end of time-}
11:21 AM
Thought that I would end up with a boring Sunday today. How wrong can I be. Auntie Susan called me up. Asked me if I want to go shopping with her. I agree of course. Shopping with her is definitely worth-while. Because she will pay whatever things that I buy. Irregardless of the price. =)
While getting ready to go out, I lost one of my contact lense. Search high and low at the particular part of the toilet but just could not find it. Even with the help of Daddy and Millie. Luckily I have changed to those monthly disposable lens. So I have spare ones. If not, have to wear the ugly spectacles to out again for this month.
Agree to meet at the temple in Bugis. It seem years that I last step into a temple. When I reached the bus stop there, it began to rain. Walked half of the path with the trees as my shelter. However, not long later, there was no trees already. Just then, there was this auntie behind me. She offered to shelter me over. So coincidently, she was going to the temple as well. Thank you auntie. =) This shows that Singapore is not only filled with bitches. There are also some kind souls around.
After praying, we went to Orchard to do some shopping. Before that, she even suggested me to have my hair done!!! A treatment perhaps. On her account as well. =) I very much would love to do it. Another day perhaps. Quite shy to always use her money. =) She say we will go on either Deepavali or Hari Raya Puasa that day. She also want to have her hair trimmed.
Combed the whole of Orchard. From Far East to OG. Bought a skirt at the end of the day. Courtesy of Auntie Susan. Thank you!!! =) Also got Annice a pyjamas and shoes.
At around 7pm, Wendy and her parents came to fetch us. We then head to Jurong Point. Shop abit before having our dinner. That was around 9pm. At 5pm earlier on, I actually just had McDaonalds with Auntie Susan!!! This is always the case when I am out with them. Eating their time away. =) They are planning to go to Genting Highlands next month and they are bringing me along!!! =) For this trip, Auntie Irene has the intention of paying for me already!!! I suddenly feel so blessed. But it is not confirmed yet though. I do not know if I really want to go or not. And also, how should I go around applying for leave. I have been applying for too many leaves already recently. And nowadays, there is so much work for us to do. How???
When I got home, I immediately charged and on my handphone. For the whole day, I live without my phone. The battery dies on me. Was so afraid that Dear will call me when he return and am unable to get me. However, when I just on my phone. He called!!! So coincident. Or maybe this is the unspoken telepathy between us. =) He sounded tired. Real tired. Wanted to tell him the things that happened today. But he was too tired to listen. Shall do so maybe tomorrow. Or later if he has the energy to stay up and talk to me.
I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!
{&i'll hold on till the end of time-}
2:31 PM
I did it. Asked him about the girl and the email. Not very direct though. Wonder he got what I trying to put across to him. However, he got hurt with other thing that I said. This is just so me. Talking without thinking how he would feel. Hate myself for that!!! Really trying to change this character of mine. Hang in there dear. Will try to be as understanding as possible. Just give me some time.
I am not spared even on Saturday!!! What the hell is happening??? Think I have to go to the temple to pray for blessing. Have been meeting with so many kinds of trouble, mainly with guests recently.
Just when I stepped in to office, the phone rang. I was later told by Ein Ein that it was the consultant from the Club. It is regarding the reservation for THAT guest again!!! And worse still, previously, she talked to me in such a nice tone, saying how good I am to help her to solve her problem. And now??? Told Ein Ein because of me, eevrything got screwed up!!! This is the type of people i HATE HATE HATE!!! Anyway, Ein Ein did not quarrel with her further. Just asked her what amendments are to be made and hang up the phone. She was so god damn rude!!! Not only to Ein Ein, but also to Jackie. Always only think that she is right!!! Like what Ein Ein said, it is because she is so god damn unreasonable, her guest is also so unreasonable.
That was not over. In the afternoon, another girl called. She was called Kiran. Asked me to send her a confirmation letter of a guest once I receive his hotel voucher, which she will be sending to me. Got the fax and sent to her. A few minutes later, she called. She did not recevied the email yet. Tried once, twice, three times. Even double confirm her email address to her. In the end, she asked me to fax the letter to her instead. She did received it this time. However, it was not clear. Called me again, asked me for our email address and she will send me a mail. Send once, twice, I did not receive anything. "Is this a joke???" She asked. HELLO AUNTIE!!! You think I am so free to play this stupid silly joke with you??? I have better things to do!!! Why on earth do I want to spend my precious time on you this unreasonable bitch??? Said that I gave her the wrong information and DEMANDED to speak to my superior. I could stand her attitude no more. Told Jackie about it and she spoke to her. Alternative, used Jackie's email to send it to her. She did not received it as well.
In the end, she did receive the letter. A few times as well I am sure. Your email server is slow what the hell has it got to do with us??? Do not blame us for anything before you get your god damn facts right in future!!! So damn pissed off with all these bitches this week.
All except Ein Ein stayed till about 5.30pm. Adeline had a small talk with me awhile before she left. I stopped checking Siti's work for awhile then. Heard a story of her during her trip. So funny. She called Housekeeping to give her 2 more pillows. However, in the end, they brought some chocolate cake and a fruit platter up, with the words, "Happy honeymoon". Aaron and her rejected it and told the lady they want pillows instead. But I think she did not understand them. Just left the cake and fruits in the room and walk out of the room.
After she left, I continued checking Siti's work. Just a minute or so before 6pm, my stomach began to hurt. It was so bad that I decided to leave the office then. Went to the toilet 1st.
Just when I was about to go to City Hall MET station, Wendy messaged me. Her family is going to Suntec City and ask if I want to join them. Since I am there already, why not. So I hang around there to wait for them.
Met Meng, a chef from Amara. He is now working at Nooch in City link. Said I have grown prettier. ***Shy*** =) Thanks! Previously, we did exchange handphone number. But I deleted his number when I changed my number as I thought we will never keep in touch. Much less to be able to meet one day. He asked me for my number again and once again, I got his. Wonder we will relly keep in touch with each other.
Went shopping for Dear's clothes. Saw one from Levi's. It is in dark blue, his favourite color I guess, from the other clothes that I always see him wear. I like the design BUT it cost around $75!!! So damn expensive!!! If there is a chance, will show it to him. Will we really be going to shop for his clothes together?
When Wendy and family reached, thought they will be going for dinner 1st. Little did I expect that they have ate at home before coming. Had to walk around with an empty stomach, which somehow led to gastric pain. After eating my Hello Panda biscuits, I am feeling much better now. =)
Wonder what time Dear will be coming back tomorrow...
{&i'll hold on till the end of time-}
2:52 PM